The power of loving yourself

Written by Alex Poeter

Do you love yourself? What comes up for you when you contemplate this question? I know that this question is likely to stir up all kinds of feelings and voices in your head. While “loving ourselves” means many different things to different people, thinking about it usually triggers some type of resistance. At least it does for me.

Often, when thinking about the idea of “loving ourselves”, memories of events and experiences that make us feel shame, self-blame or self-judgment come up. And the self-judgment doesn’t usually stop at remembering events where we behaved in ways we’re not proud of, it quickly jumps to physical appearances or bodily conditions we wish were different. What’s more is that most of us are conditioned to not act selfishly, and the idea of “loving ourselves” might feel like we’re doing just that. So, this is quite a complex topic that can feel like it should best be left alone. It’s just too complicated and painful.

But what if we could experience deep and unconditional self-love? Imagine if you could forgive yourself completely for anything and everything you’ve ever blamed and judged yourself for. What might it feel like to let go of the heavy burden you’ve been carrying around for so long?

Here’s an exercise you can try: Take a moment and think of a person you feel the deepest and most powerful love for. Really tune into the sense of love you feel for them. You might even remember a recent experience that stirs up all kinds of feelings of love for that person. Now turn that love towards yourself. Just give yourself one minute to take in all the love you can muster for yourself. Doesn’t that feel good?

Practicing “loving ourselves” is necessary so that we can love others and have a positive impact on the world. As long as we keep carrying the burden of self-blame and self-judgment, we’re likely to continue projecting those feelings through our actions and behaviors, and onto others.

So, I’d invite you to experiment with “loving yourself”. Just see if you might want to take small steps towards giving yourself permission to be kinder and more compassionate towards yourself. You might even want to explore questions like:

What can I allow myself to love about me?

What do I think others appreciate about me?

Or you could do a “sentence-finishing exercise” like:

“I love myself for…”

I’ve found that practicing self-love, self-appreciation and self-compassion can have a tremendous effect on our ability to fulfill our desires and to even help strengthen our body’s healing properties. I dare you to try it!