How to stop comparing yourself to others
Written by Alex Poeter
Let me ask you an important question. Is there someone more successful than you who you’re comparing yourself to? Does comparing your achievements to theirs make you feel insecure?
Here is how this dynamic usually plays out. We start out feeling inspired and hopeful as we’re working on taking our career to the next level. All of the sudden we start to take notice of others who seem to “have it made.” We notice things like “they’re younger than us”, “their income is much higher”, or “they’re more well-known and recognized for their achievements.” We might feel that even if we try our best, we’ll never be able to catch up with them. What’s more is that we start to question our own abilities to achieve the success we want. This can send us into a downward spiral, which makes it increasingly harder to stay motivated and hopeful. So, what to do?
The first important thing to realize is that we tend to compare how we feel on the inside to how others look on the outside. We have no idea how someone who’s achieved greater success feels on the inside – whether they’re happy or at peace. If someone is super successful by societal standards but feels constantly pressured to maintain a certain public persona out of fear they might lose it all, would you want to trade with them? Of course this doesn’t mean we can’t be successful and happy at the same time. However, many of us are conditioned to believe that achieving worldly success is the source of happiness. And I don’t think that’s true. That’s why I think it’s important to learn how to feel good on the inside first and then create success. That way we don’t create success from fear and scarcity, but from joy and abundance instead.
Here are some concrete ideas for avoiding the “comparison trap”:
Instead of comparing your achievements to those of others, allow yourself to be inspired by the positive qualities that allowed them to create those achievements.
Know that everyone is on their own journey, including you – the quicker you can allow yourself to embrace your own uniqueness, strengths and talents, the quicker you can unlock their power to create your own success.
Be aware that every time you compare your own success to someone else's and it makes you feel bad about yourself, you’re creating resistance – resistance that’s blocking the success you want from coming into your own life.
Since the biggest motivator for creating success usually is to experience happiness, allow yourself to do whatever makes you feel happy now. You don’t need success to feel happy. In fact, feeling good about who you are right now, and celebrating your achievements and unique strengths is key to creating your own success in the quickest way possible.
By letting go of the need to compare yourself to others you will not only improve the way you feel about yourself, you’ll also free up a ton of energy that you can redirect towards your professional development goals.