The cure for self-judgment
Written by Alex Poeter
Do you feel you should be further along on your path of personal, professional, or spiritual development? Are you judging yourself for having made decisions in the past that may have slowed down your progress? Do you believe you might have missed valuable opportunities that would have allowed you to experience much greater success at this point in your life?
These are common questions that many of us struggle with. And the more we keep contemplating questions like this, the more self-judgment we seem to experience. What’s more is that these questions often trigger anxiety over our sense of mortality. It seems that the older we get, the less time we have to make big things happen we wish we would’ve achieved already, which can trigger a feeling of self-judgment.
However, I’ve found that when we act from a feeling of self-judgment, we only deepen that feeling. At the same time though, our conditioned mind keeps telling us that if we don’t act quickly, we’ll run out of time to create the experiences we want to have. This can create a conundrum: should we let go of our desires so we no longer experience a feeling of self-judgment, or just roll up our sleeves and work even harder?
The first option seems to imply that we’re just giving up on our goals, which essentially would mean we trade our feeling of self-judgment for a feeling of regret. The second option would likely create a greater sense of scarcity and fear because we’re stepping into a race against time. Neither option seems to be a good permanent solution. So, what to do?
My invitation is to fully accept where you currently are on your journey and to trust that you are where you’re supposed to be – that what you’re experiencing right now is necessary for the achievement of your goals.
I know that what I’m suggesting may seem illogical to the conditioned mind because it believes that if something doesn’t seem to work for us or we feel stuck, we just have to try harder. It believes that not having the “right” solution right now poses danger. But what if the opposite is actually true? What if our goals and desires are much more likely to come to fruition if we stop trying to force things?
I’d invite you to take some time to journal - or whatever reflection process works best for you - and:
Contemplate how much you’ve been able to learn and achieve already in your life, and to truly honor that.
Become aware of the unique talents and strengths of yours that have supported you in achieving your goals so far.
Honor that you’re on your own unique path and that the more you can trust that the right guidance and opportunities will show up at the right time, the more the path that’s right for you will continue to reveal itself to you.
I truly believe that reconnecting with a deep sense of trust will allow you to access much greater power to aid you in your pursuit of your life’s vision and goals. I invite you to give it a try and see what happens.